In the weeke leding up to women’s day, one gets messages from beauty parlors, and different brands offering special discounts. I have always been troubled by this celebration of vanity in the name of women’s day. Women are already suffering enjoyable from market-geaned insecurities of being a little too dark, a little too pale, a little too heavy, or a little too thin. This “little too” is already burdensome. Why put a little more pressure with these beautiful coupons? Maybe we need a coupon to make us more Comfortable with our own skin.

Notably, the celebration of women’s day is a very urban-centric phenomenon. Amidst the discounts, some of us attend panel discussions, and wax Eloquent aboutnotions of Empowerment, Sisterhood, and Our Achievements. Yet, in these conversations, women from the margins remain conspicuously absent. Our celebations are seldom extended to an adivasi woman who is struggling to fight the practice of the bestcraft in jharkhand, or a dalit woman who is drawing multifaceted violation.

Women are burdened with unrealistic experiments of being super humans. We are not, even thought out our social defiction wants are us to be. Like any other human being, we are tired of juggling the roles of breadwinner, caregiver, partner, and many more. Our Struggle to Navigate Social Expectations and Our Own Aspirations – Something that is usually sacrificed to mainly “harmony” in the patriarchal order – is unending. We want women to be perfect in every roll, but do we ever ask them if they want it? Do we give women the agency to decide on them they want to be a domestic goddess as well as excel at work and play? And if women want to “have it all”, have we give them equals oportunities and access?

The saga of “having it all” starts with a young girl learning to cook, building her resilience to bear. Be emptyable so that, if need be, she can support her family financially. Their growing up come with the pressure to get married. After margin, comes the experiment of being a good wife, followed by the burden to be a dautiful given mother, a good mother. In this endless saga of being a perfect woman, we get lost and are left grappling with anxiety and self-dubt.

It is time for men to be empowered: Learn as young boys to Balance Between Household Chores and Professional Life. They need to be taught to see themselves bot as a breadwinner and a caregiver.

With the narrative of “having it all” we are selling an unattoinable ideal for women by ignoring the systemic barriers women face in achieving intellectual and creative fulfilments. This gnawing sense of duty and the burden our womanhood places on us define our female solidarity.

As a young girl, I was always told that the sky’s the limit. But the horizon was defined by patriarchal forces. We were expected to open our wings in a limited corner. But we need the horizon to spray our wings.

The writer is Assistant Professor of Sociology, Lakshmibai College, Delhi University