Sibling rivalry is a common issue many parents face, but it can become particularly tricky when feelings of jealousy start to affect family dynamics.
During an episode of the Netflix show Fabulous Wives vs Bollywood Wives, Riddhima Kapoor Sahni opened up about how her daughter, Samara, feels jealous of her younger cousin, Raha. In a candid conversation with her mother, Neetu Kapoorshe and her husband Bharat Sahni shared how Samara’s jealousy has even prevented them from holding Raha.
In the clip, Neetu asked Bharat, “When Samara was born, Riddhima stopped going out with you, remember? And later on, I said, ‘Riddhima has another child.’ She said, ‘Bharat will leave me.'”
Bharat replied, “No, no, no! I was ready.” He revealed, “Samara doesn’t want. I have not held my own brother’s kids ever since Samara was born.”
Neetu pointed out, “You didn’t hold Raha, remember?” Riddhima disclosed that she “could not” do that in the presence of her daughter. “She’s so jealous,” she said.
Reflecting on her childhood, Riddhima acknowledged that she, too, was a jealous sibling when her brother, Ranbir Kapoor, was born. Neetu Kapoor humorously recalled, “She would throw him off the cradle… and then she would pinch him.” Riddhima agreed that she was indeed a jealous kid. “I would pinch him and all,” she said.
This insight into sibling jealousy across generations raises questions about how such emotions develop and how parents can manage them effectively to maintain healthy family relationships.
Common causes of sibling jealousy and how to spot them
Neha Parashar, senior psychologist at Cadabams Mental Health and Rehabilitation Hospital, tells indianexpress.com, “Sibling jealousy often arises from resource competition for parental attention, affection, or approval. According to Sibling rivalry theorychildren feel threatened by a new sibling, fearing a loss of parental investment.”
Early signs include regression, where older children may revert to infantile behaviors, as well as aggression, irritability, or social withdrawal. “Studies have shown that the arrival of a sibling can disrupt attachment security, leading to these behaviors as coping mechanisms,” notes Prashar.
Does such jealousy deter couples from having another child?
Parashar states that while sibling jealousy may cause concern, it’s typically not a significant factor influencing decisions about family planning. “Studies on family dynamics suggest that siblings jealousy is a natural developmental process. However, some parents may experience anxiety about managing multiple children’s emotional needs,” she remarks.
Parashar adds, “Family therapy research indicates that couples who have seen intense sibling rivalry may opt for a more spaced-out approach to having children, allowing the older child more time to adjust.”
Role of parents in managing sibling dynamics
Parents serve as mediators in sibling conflicts, says Parashar, and their behavioral modeling influences how children resolve conflicts. “Research shows that authoritative parenting, which balances warmth with structured boundaries, is most effective in managing sibling rivalry.”
However, if jealousy escalates into physical aggression or severe emotional distress, professional intervention may be needed. Cognitive-behavioural therapy (CBT) can help children develop emotional regulation skills and process feelings of inadequacy or jealousy.
Strategies parents can use to help a child cope with feelings of jealousy
Parashar recommends that active participation in family activities and fostering sibling cooperation can mitigate rivalry. “One effective strategy is emotion coaching, where parents guide children through understanding their feelings of jealousy, reinforcing the idea that love is not a limited resource. Structured playtime, where the older child is involved in caregiving tasks, can also reduce competitive behaviors and promote bonding.”